Starkit vs Sarcasm
by SparkyKittyCat
Summary: Once upon a time, i was curious about starkit's prophecy, so i read it. now, being a writer, i desperately needed to rewrite it with better spelling and more sarcasm, and then this was born! rated K plus since it's the warriors series. (Trollfic challenge for Muffinclan)
1. Prologue and lack of punctuation

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright.

"There is a prophecy!" She said. "Out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." "Its about Starkit!" A white tom said, completely forgetting to use punctuation. "Shes going to save the forest." He said.

It was barely a second later before the white tom got slapped on the back of the head by a dark grey she- cat with orange eyes. "For the last time, USE YOUR PUNCTUATION!" she yowled.

He looked at a gold tom by Bluestar, who must've been the blue cat. "She has powers nobody dreamed of." Said the gold tom. "Should we tell Jayfeather?" He asked. "Yes." Said Bluestar. "he needs to know."

She walked away from the pool to tell Jayfeather about the prophecy, only to be interrupted by the chapter ending. Why did the chapter end? NOBODY KNOWS (except for me, of course…)!


	2. Starpaw's Butter-cot-mom

Starkit woke up and sunlight was in the branches. "Branches, let the sunlight go or I'll hurt you with my special mary- sue powers." The branches immediately let go of the poor sunlight.

She closed her eyes again, still tired. Yet, her Butter mom wouldn't let her sleep, not today. "Sweetie, it's time to get up" said Dawnsparkle; her eyes shining, from which she got her name.

"Today is an important day." Mewed the butter- cat- mom. "What is it Mom?" said Starkit, awake right away, even though she was fast asleep seconds ago. Then she remembered what today was.

"Ohmigosh it's my serimony today!' she squealed excitedly, not knowing that a serimony is different than a ceremony. Today was the day she was an apprentice!

She hurried outside, not waiting for her Mom. But her butter Mom, now a cot, caught up to her quickly. "Sweetie, you know the clans don't accept cats like us sometimes." She said.

Starkit glared, not knowing who at. She didn't like being told that. Just because her Mom was a used to be Shadowclan cat and her dad was Jayfeather, the medicine Cat didn't mean she was different!

"Starpaw, come here." Said Firestar from his leg, even though Starkit wasn't an apprentice yet and no cat can talk from their leg. He jumped down.

"Starkit, it's time for you to become an apentice." he said, since an apentice is not a normal apprentice. "You're a strong brave cat, and because of that, I will mentor you."

Everybody gasped. Starkit did too. She heard hear mother say "Wow!"Fireheart liked her shoulder (and didn't know why he had his warrior name, nor did he know why he liked a shoulder).

He whispered in her ear "you'll be the best there ever was, Starpaw I know it. Starkit was confused since she didn't have her apprentice name announced yet.

Surpised, she walked away when they were done howling for her. Then she went over to Jayfeather and Dawnsparkle who were very prod.

"Mom, dad, can you guys stop prodding me?" asked Starpaw. "No, but Daughter, we're very happy but we have to say something." said Jayfeather his chest puffed out.

"You see there is this prophecy Starclan gave me it said that out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."StarPaw gasped. "What does it mean?"


	3. Starpaw the fritter

**Hi guys here's the ****last**** Third chapter of this ****ungodly abomi**** Trollfic!**

Starpaw walked over to the apprentice's den. Inside she saw her sisters Flamepaw and Lakepaw and her friend Jazzpaw was slepping(which is sleeping in a weird position) on the moss.

"Jazzpaw, get up." She cried. Jazzpaw opened her brilliant blue eyes and looked at her.

"Do you want to go on pattrol with me?" she asked. "Sure!" Said Jazzpaw, exited since Pattrols are not like normal patrols. Jazzpaw got up from the moss. They left and went to the entrance to camp.

But then, a cat came in through the entrance! It was Blackstar! "Shadowclan are attacking!" She yelled, not using grammar since that was for non- Mary sues.

All the cats came out from their dens. She jumped on a cat and claud (Which is hitting someone using a bat named Claud) him and the White cat ran off.

"Good job, Starpaw!" Firestar called, "The last cat I knew that could fight like that was Sandstrom( who is totally a different cat than Sandstorm). You're a good fritter!"

Firestar started nomming the she- cat's leg. Starpaw was happy. She was a good fritter! Maybe this was what the prophecy meant.

**COMMENT IF YOU THINK THAT STARPAW IS A GOOD FRITTER (YUM)!**


	4. Firestar(timelord)and Starpaw(Gangster)

**i reached the criteria for the challenge but i ****still have to write this**** will continue this troll-fic because ****of revie**** i enjoy writing it. **

Shadowclan ran from the camp. Starpaw smiled. She'd won! No one could hurt her family now. Starpaw!" said Firestar. "Its time we train! I want to show you how to fight!" he said, forgetting to use punctuation.

"Ok." Said Starpaw happily. "but yo just saw I could fight, right?" she said, with shades, a backwards cap, and a bling necklace suddenly appearing on her since she spoke like a gangster.

"Well, yah." said FireStar, suddenly having a snobbish german accent. "But I wanted to see if that was all you knew." He challenged, with a sudden giant pretzel in his hand.

"Ok." They went to the frost (another word for the dark forest) to gather and the other cats cleaned up the bodies, even though nobody was hurt.

"Ok, Starpaw." said Firestar once they got there. "We'll start with how to dog." "C'mon, that's too easy!" yelled Starpaw. He started to act like a dog.

Shed just beat Blackstar. The apprentice glanced over to the shed. "Ok, Ok." mewled Firestar," lets learn how to claw an oponit." He said, forgetting punctuation again. An oponit was a hard opponent.

"Ya!" Yowled Starkit, suddenly having a german accent too. She jumped at Firestar, not giving him time to attakc (which was in no way similar to attacking). She hit his side.

He didn't move, he was too surprised. She clawed him and he started bledding (which is bleeding rainbows). "Wow, Starpaw." he said. "You're doing awesome."

"Really?" gaped Starpaw. She didn't think she was doing that good. was she really special like the prophesy (an omen) meowed? "Yes, Starpaw." Snarled Firestar.

"I couldn't even get away in fast enough. Only scourg (Scrouge's twin brother) was did that before." He said, not caring that he sounded like a 3 day old kit. "OMGOSH REALLY?" asked Starpaw.

"Scourg? THE SCOURG?" She herad (eavesdropped) so much about him. He was really evil and killed a lot of cats. "I'M LIKE SCOURG?!" "I didn't mean it like that!" Firepaw (who has age reversal powers) said.

"I meant you were a good fighter. Its really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaw's so kawaii, look at her eyes and her fur.' Not realizing that punctuation was forgotten again.

"Oh, ok thanks." They trained the floor awhile, teaching it commands like sit and stay. Later, Starpaw beat Firestar 8 times with her special mary- sue powers.

Once, she let him win to make him feel better. By the last one she was a little tired. "Hey Firestar, can we hunt now." Said Starpaw, forgetting the question mark. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Oh well, if you want." Said the muscular tom, not being hungry, as a time lord. Firestar was disappointed; he and Starpaw had been having so much fun.

So, they went hunting. Starpaw messed up a couple times (despite being a mary sue) but Firestar said it was okay since it was only her second time hunting in her entire life.

She'd had her first time when she was a little kit. She and Firestar had snuck out together (even if it's against the code), that's why he chose her as his own apprentice.

Later that night StarPaw locked up the stars. She added a bow on the shiny silver lock. Firestar had so much fun today. They carried back enough food for the whole clan.

Looking up at the locked up stars she turned to her best friend, Jazzpaw, and said, "Do you think we'll ever be up there, locked up?"

"No, since we're immortal mary sues and don't deserve to be locked up." Said JazzPaw. "I mean you'll be leader and I'll be deputy one day. We'll have to since we're mary sues!

"Ya." Said StarPaw (with the german accent) smiling. she loved Jazzpaw. They were best friends. She looked at the stars again, smiled and fell asleep with Starclan voices in her head.

**Review and i'll continue this!**


	5. Everyone learns textspeak

**Hey guys! sorry about the long wait time, but i finally got it done!**

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"Starpaw, wake up! It's time for patrol." Starpaw opened her bright rainbow eyes( even if they're orange) and looked around. "Omigosh, who was that!?"She yelled.

"It's me, Graystripe." Graystripe whispered in her ear. Starpaw got up. "Omigosh Graystipe, what do you want!?" She yelped.

Graystripe looked at her. "Will you be my mate?" Asked Graystripe. "Omigosh Graytripe, that's so nice!" Starkit (who was a kit again) screamed, not caring that she would be heard.

"but Firestar already asked me." She informed. "Well then, he's just an idiot."

y do u say that?" Questioned Starpaw, using textspeak. Graystripe locked her up meanly. "I don't like him, even if he's my BF." squeaked Graystripe as he looked around quickly.

"He's a mean cat! "OMIGOSH, U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?!" STARPAW yelped, using some textspeak again.

"No, you are much prettier than Scourg." said Graystripe. he licked her on the head. "I wan my mate." he yelled in textspeak.

"Well maybe, But what would Firestar say?" she whispered. Graystripe locked her up again. "I don't think he would mind." said Graystripe

"OMIGOSH, SURE THEN!" Starpaw yelled happily.

"What r u talking about?" said Fireheart the time lord with textspeak. He was walking up. He looked angrily.

"Oh, umm nothing Firestar, go back to sleep!" mewled Starpaw hoping he would leave, so she could be alone with Graystripe.

"Yea, Firestar, there's nothing to worry about!" cheered Graystripe, but Firestar didn't leave. Instead he said "I thought I heard you asking her to be your mate."

"oh, yeah." yelled Starpaw, but he didn't leave. Instead he jumped on Graystripe!

"I want to be with her!" said Fireheart, attacking Graystripe. "No, I do!" Graystripe shouted.

"Guys! Stop fighting; you can BOTH be my mates! Starpaw whispered happily.

"No, we can't do that. There can only be one!" Howled Firestar. "Otherwise you'll cheat on us."

"So Stargleam, who will you pick?" giggled Gaystripe, who had a name change, and decided to give Starpaw her warrior name for the end of the chapter.

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**I don't own warriors or Starkit's prophecy.**


End file.
